Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
A soft hearted guy
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, ‘why are you eating grass?'
'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'We have to eat grass.'
'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,' the lawyer said.
'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.'
Bring them along,’ the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us, also.'
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!'
Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind.'
'Thank you for taking all of us with you.'
The lawyer replied, ‘Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost 3 foot high’
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Welcome to the world
I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed. 'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.' She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?' I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'
Her parents still aren't speaking to me.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
10 dollar bill
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, why are you arguing?
One boy answers, we found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie.
You should be ashamed of yourselves, said the teacher.
When I was your age, I didn’t even know what a lie was.
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher....
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